Awakening

I awoke with the strangest feeling – God was clearly talking to me as I had been praying. I had been praying for clear direction in many areas of my life. As usual, God doesn't always answer 1+2= 3. In fact, often you get something far more cryptic and confusing. It always leads to the answers but is never easy in the process. So, as I was praying, the phrase kept coming into my head, "100 days – 100 miles"…and I was like, "What???" It just kept going again and again in my head with the attachment of – "and then write about it."

Ok, I will be honest with you – I ran the gamut of emotions from excited to hear God so clearly, to confused, and finally to ticked off. Are you kidding me?? I have to wait 100 days for my answer and even then it might not be a clear answer and I get to write about it along the way?! So, I started asking questions. "Do I need to run or can I walk?" It didn't matter apparently as long as I spent the time solely with God. Sounds really easy don't it? That's only a mile a day. I started thinking that it sounded simple because in the summer, I walk a ton. I walk minimum of 5-10 miles a day. However, I usually walk with someone else or I have an iPod in my ear. Hmmm…I can't do that. You should have heard me arguing with God all day about this one. Why? And of course – there was no answer.

I sat all day kind of laughing about my Godly assignment. I knew there were only a few people I could really share this with because others would think I was just nuts. In fact, my daughter asked me if I really knew it was God talking to me…and YES, I clearly knew it was God. Believe me, why in the world would I torture myself in such a way on purpose! I decided to make today the day I share with you how I was feeling during the assignment phase. How often do we get an assignment that we do NOT recognize or want to do? I have had several of those assignments along the way. Some things I dove head first into and others – I begged and pleaded to run the other way. Every single one of those experiences was so incredibly fruitful that I would be stupid to sit back and wait for God to make me do it anyway.

The more excited I got – the more fear crept in. I realized that God was going to be doing a lot of refining of my heart and soul. I know that I need it – but to know you are walking into it is beyond daunting. The refiner's fire is wonderful but often VERY hot and can often hurt. I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus and know that He is making me more like Him. I kept thinking – 100 days – you do realize that is like a 1/3 of a year. Oh my…I don't know if I am the girl to do this. Lord – let me grow closer to you in this process. Let your love fill me and may you be the only thing to fill me during this time. Thank you for the precious assignment no matter how hard I fight you on it. It shows me that you want to work with my weaknesses. Funny thing is, I called my missionary friend to share my new assignment and he happened to be working on an assignment. Get this, it was 2 Corinthians 12:9.

⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Wow! How awesome to know that He wants to work through me and with me to show His glory. And no kidding – I am definitely a weak specimen to work through. It is fun to watch his ever changing tapestry weaving without any effort from us.

I pray that if you embark on this challenge, you are blessed beyond measure. I hope that my real and frank words are not a hindrance but a way to help you see that every day is a fight to stay on the path. However, life is not a sprint – it is a marathon. There are times when we are going to walk, times when we are going to crawl, times when we need to be carried and times when we fly. As long as we stay on the path and keep moving – He will light our path and bless us beyond measure.