Day 1 – Reality Check

I must admit, I had been avoiding my 1 mile all day. I was happy to spend the time with God but the idea of getting on the treadmill was not an enjoyable one. I sat thinking that I spend a lot of time with God but is it really concentrated time. So often, I have distractions around me. Whether it is my children, my spouse, the TV, iPod, or my cell phone, there are so many outside messages coming in. To spend that time solely with God is not a lot of time. However, if you really evaluate what you do while you exercise or drive or anything – I bet you are multi-tasking. When you sit down with someone, are you focused only on them? Or are you busy texting or responding to someone? I realize this especially when someone else is doing that to me. If I am sitting having a conversation, I want to feel valued and if the other person is buried in their cell phone – clearly they are not fully listening to me. I do that also and I always feel guilty when I do it. Often it is my kids or my husband trying to get a hold of me about various things. I usually check it and then don't respond unless absolutely necessary. However, it still takes time away from the person that I am with and it hurts them.
So, as I was avoiding my mile today, I started to think – am I avoiding the exercise or the time with God. Truth is – I am avoiding both. I find my conversations with God to be often wonderful but during a refining process, it can truly hurt. I guess I was avoiding myself today in the process of avoiding the mile.
I will be honest; I am not in great shape right now. I was a great runner as a kid and always loved sprinting but the idea of distance – YUCK! Even a mile just isn't my thing. I walk a ton but running?! I waited until the time before dinner and told my kids that I needed to go do my mile. I put my cell phone away, left the remote on the couch, ignored my iPod on the charger and took my place on the treadmill. I took a deep breath and started up the machine and kept thinking – a mile isn't that far! HAHAHAHAHAHA
When you are out of shape and haven't run in almost 20 years, a mile might as well be 500. It made me appreciate those people on the Biggest Loser show. Thank goodness Jillian isn't in my basement yelling at me to keep running. I quickly became hot, out of breath, and needing water desperately. The water was such a blessing to cool me down and replenish what was missing. What was interesting is once I was dehydrated, it took a lot to quench my thirst.
God is so clearly the living water and how often are we trying to fill up with something other than that? While it fills us for awhile, eventually, we will come up empty. Even the cell phones, the TV, and other things – aren't they just another distraction or way to make us feel connected in a false way. We are all avoiding the time with God without realizing it. Try sitting in your car with no radio and just talking to God. Some might look at you funny while you are driving, but I think you will find yourself growing closer and closer to Him.
Ok, so after my mile, I got off the treadmill and sat down. I was so extremely hot and out of breath. My lungs were coughing up mucous I swear had been in there for 20 years as that is how hard I was coughing to get it up. Felt like I was coughing up the things I had been filling my life with instead of breathing clearly. Oh Lord – 100 days? Really?! I cannot do this! Please Lord, isn't there another way?
He so emphatically told me – 100 days – 100 miles. Ok, I will wipe my brow and say to myself, "1 day down and only 99 to go." Really Lord, the only way? I know I will appreciate the time and I pray that in time I grow to look forward to my mile and maybe even want to do more so I can spend even more concentrated time with Him. I don't mind time with God – but the physical and emotional refinement at the same time is difficult. Lord, thank you for the blessing of this assignment. I know I don't appreciate it at every moment but may others be blessed by it as well. Thank you for honoring me with YOUR time. Why am I lamenting that time that I must give up? That is ridiculous! I should be so grateful that you want that time with me. May you speak through my weakness Lord.