Monday, April 5, 2010

Day 86 - Nostalgia

Today, my mom took my girls and I to her hometown which is in the middle of nowhere Colorado.  It was a chance to show the girls where she grew up but also a moment to walk down memory lane for my mom.  Truth is, there are a lot of bitter sweet memories for me down there.  There are some very hurtful memories there and there are some special ones as well.  Too long and hard to discuss here.  I was curious how I would feel but tried to focus on my mom and the girls instead of my own personal feelings. 

We started in a little town where my grandfather lived the final years of his life.  Even though I had not been there since I was 15, I remembered exactly where he lived.  Even my mom struggled to find it.  We drove by the church where my great grandparents had gotten married which is now a restaurant.  Then we stopped by the church where my mom was confirmed.  More stops included my moms old college, an Indian museum, my mom's old house and Bent's Fort - a trading post in the mid 1800's.  We even came back to the restaurant (church) and had some pie.  After the day was done, I sat and thought about how I felt during the whole thing.  While those memories were in the past, I decided to make today a new memory and a step forward to let go of the past.  I'm grateful I didn't feel anger, hurt or anxiety while there.  Today was a day about my mom and my girls.  It was a good feeling! 

2 Corinthians 5:16-17
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

How often do we get caught in a loop of looking back and feeling the pain that was associated?  Satan would like nothing better than for us to not move forward.  What a blessing to be able to move forward and know that Christ can heal those wounds and hurts.  Looking back can have benefits IF we use it to propel ourselves into the future rather than holding us back.  I was able to let go of a very painful hurt today and replace it with a precious memory with my girls.  Thank you, Jesus!

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