Day 81 – More Lessons…

Day 81 – Tonight, I was truly not looking forward to my mile time primarily because I was physically not up to it. Spiritually, I was looking forward to the time with God. However, I waited until the last minute (just nature of the crazy day I had) and instead of carving out time at the beginning of the day – I waited until I had nothing left to give back to God. Funny how you can go 80 days and still have the same issues.

I think that is true for almost everyone. There are moments when we will kick one habit and eventually it will rear its ugly head and reappear. You will think that habit is long over and suddenly you are right back to day one. Today was that day for me. I know better than to wait until the end of the day to give anything to God. It isn't that I didn't pray throughout the day or spend any time with him. However, that dedicated time was last today instead of first. Makes me sad…

It is so important for us to take that time and start the day that way. It is important to keep Scripture in front of us. So many people have asked me why. The reason is simple…the Word is living and breathing. Go to John 1 if you don't believe me. It says:

John 1:1

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was with God in the beginning.

The Bible also talks about how we need to keep that word close to our heart and help our children understand it as well.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

 

I know that God knows my heart and knows it was not intentional to start the day without Him. I'm blessed to know that while I have slip ups – He forgives me. I tell you this – I can tell the days where I don't start with Him. They are always more trying, tiring and lacking the sweetness of other days. Ah…live and learn…even on day 81!!!

Day 80 – Hold your Breath

Day 80 – 50 seconds….that's exactly how long I can hold my breath while watching my children doing track. Track season officially started today and both of my older girls are doing track. I learned last year that I basically hold my breath during most of their events. That worked last year because my oldest did high jump, long jump and the 4x200. Well, high and long jumps are only seconds between each jump. The 200 was only 30 seconds of asthma inducing breath holding. This year, my oldest has been put in the 400 in addition to jumps. That's slightly longer to hold my breath. My middle daughter got put in the 400 and the 800 – so more breath control there as well.

I don't have any delusion that I can somehow effect the change in their performance. I just can't help it when I want them to do well for their own self-confidence and worth. It is exciting to see them do well and see the smiles on their faces along with seeing their friends cheering for them. I also skip a breath when they don't do well because I know how disappointed they are in themselves. I know that they think I will be disappointed with them but my heart just breaks for them when they don't do their best.

I wonder what God thinks or does when we, his children, are doing well or not well. I don't suppose he holds his breath since he isn't human but you know it must bring a smile to his face every time we shine his glory. No need for him to boast as he made all of us and he can just sit back and enjoy his creation.

Matthew 10:30-32 (not necessarily the verse I would normally choose)

³⁰And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

 ³²"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.

I pulled out that set of verses because it shows that God takes time to pay attention to detail even the number of hairs on your head…so for those of you who think he doesn't have time to sit and watch you and just enjoy – he makes the time! He wants to be there for your highest moments and your lowest of lows. You are His wonderful creation and YOU ARE GOOD!

Day 79 - Tired

Day 79 – On certain days, I am more tired than others. I only slept about an hour last night and today would be a day where I feel a little tired. Then, after having drama today, I kind of hit the wall. I wanted to take a nap but knew that I couldn't because I might not sleep tonight. Such the dilemma!

I thought about how Jesus walked EVERYWHERE! How his journey must have seemed long and tiring! Not to mention the fact that he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders – I imagine that he was really tired.

Isaiah 40:28

Do you not know?
       Have you not heard?
       The LORD is the everlasting God,
       the Creator of the ends of the earth.
       He will not grow tired or weary,
       and his understanding no one can fathom.

While the physical man was tired, God will not grow tired and weary. There is nothing to small for him to handle and our understanding of him is so limited. So, while we get tired from time to time, we don't work 24/7 without ceasing. We complain about a few minutes to spend in the Bible or time with Him and we forget that he is always on the job and there with us even when we ignore him.

So, even when I'm tired and don't feel like I have the energy, He picks me up and gives me the perseverance to press on.

Day 78 – Fill My Cup

Day 78 – Have you ever eaten yourself into a food coma? I did that tonight….and man am I beyond full. Why I did it isn't really that important but it really made me reflect on today's message from church.

Our pastor talked about how much we fill our cup with sin and how once the cup is full – how do we appear clean? Once the cup is full (which technically could be one sin) you cannot fill it with anything else. The only thing that could remove that sin from your life and clean your cup is through Christ. He took it on and bore every lash in our place.

I have seen so many good illustrations with this over time. One of my favorites that I used to show the youth group was using two cups full of clear liquid (one water and the other not). The first one represented our life and then I would add different food colorings to it until it looked like dirt. Then the other glass represented a pure life (Jesus) and how filling your life with that was the only way to clean your heart. So I would pour part of the pure liquid into the dirty liquid and it would all become clear. Then, I would pour more food coloring in the original cup that looked like dirt and it would immediately disappear. The point was that if you accepted Jesus into your heart, he washed you white as snow and covers you with His righteousness.

So, as I was filling myself more and more with food tonight…I was thinking about how we fill ourselves with THINGS to try to make ourselves happy. Whether it is food, material things, or people…we look to the wrong things to fill our cup. Inevitably, we will come up with an empty cup every time because it will never fill us the way that we need. Jesus paid the price and is the ONLY thing that will truly fill our cup.

1 Timothy 2:5-6

"For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men—the testimony given in its proper time."-

Day 77 – “Normal”

Day 77 – There are some days when I can fully appreciate a "normal" day.

When I was growing up, my closest friend and I used to joke about what "normal" really was. We used to say that there really was no such thing as normal because it was really abnormal to be normal because no one is completely normal. Did you follow that?

Anyway, after last night and this morning, I can truly appreciate a "normal" day. As you know, I have mentioned how I have struggled with some sleeping issues over the last several months. One of my blogs even documented my goofy sleep test where I'm happy to say I did not have sleep apnea. Woohoo! No funky mask or ear blowing in my head all night! However, I did have massive sleep disturbances. My doctor decided she wanted to get me back on track with my sleep with a mild sedative that I would take for a month and then wean off. Sounds innocuous doesn't it? NOT!!!

I waited until my husband was home from travel just in case I had an adverse reaction. Boy, am I glad that I did that. I took it for the first time last night and got sleepy pretty quickly. Then, I woke this morning at 7 and could hardly open my eyes. I closed them again and woke again at 8:30. Again, it was impossible to open my eyes. I tried so hard to wake up but I just couldn't. Then, when I did try, I saw double and was dizzy. I had the most difficult time trying to get up. My husband was kind enough to go get me coffee at Starbucks to try to help me wake up. He even got me a Venti which is the largest one. Normally a venti would have sent me through the roof jittery wise. This time, it just took the edge off the meds…no impact from the caffeine. NOT good! Let me just say – NEVER again. I will just have to deal with the sleep issue another way.

How often do we trade one problem for another one in effort to make things easier? When we try to ignore things going wrong in our life – we often will choose a different path that has another set of problems attached. We think we are choosing something easier when in fact it is just making our life more difficult than it was.

God truly has made it pretty simple…so why do we make it so difficult? We run away from facing our issues in hopes that they will go away and in turn gain more problems. When we rest in Jesus, we can fall on our knees and know that Jesus will help us not only face ourselves but move beyond.

Psalm 62:7

"My salvation and my honor depend on God ; he is my mighty rock, my refuge."-

Day 76 – Such a time…

Day 76 – There are people that come and go in our lives – sometimes with a whisper and sometimes with thunderous sounds. There really is no rhyme or reason to it in our eyes but it is clear that God brings them into our lives for a reason.

The question is – what do we do with the time when we are with them? Do we make idle chit chat or do we find out where their heart really lies?

I was thinking today about how we are surrounded by people ALL the time. We don't know their life stories, we co-exist with all of them, and yet we walk through life without really knowing most of them. God can use our moments that we are around people and use them for His glory. Whether it is a cashier or someone waiting on your table – we need to take the time to see God at work even in those little situations. It isn't an opportunity to bash someone over the head and tell them they are going to hell…but there is a reason it says in the Bible, "They will know us by our love".

Last week, I was in the counselor's office where I am going for the A.D.D. and a man looked at me and said, "Have we met – because you look soooo familiar!" I laughed and wasn't sure. Anyway, my son retorted by saying…"Mom, everyone thinks that you look familiar and that they know you." He and I talked about it on the way home and I told him that I would like to think that the familiar part they see is the Christ that lives inside of me. I pray that it isn't me they see at all. He liked that idea and agreed.

We just never know those God moments and when they come. We never know when our divine appointment to act on the behalf of God is on our doorstep.

In Esther it talks about "such a time as this"… She had no idea why she was being crowned queen when she was a Jew and how God was going to use her to free her people. How would she have known? The point is, there will always be moments that cross our path and it is up to us to realize that this might just be "such a time". I don't know about you – but I want to be aware and awake when I talk with people and experience life to not miss God standing right before me.

Esther 4:14

¹⁴ For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Day 75 - Waiting

Day 75 – You know it is funny how this whole project started and I suppose the ending is not going to be any different. I started with a question that I have had for God for quite some time. It is something I haven't received an answer to for years. He made it clear to me that I would start to receive an answer if I went on this quest. Today, I received part of the answer. It was calming and there were no bells that went off at the event. I just calmly received what I have awaited and not heard anything on until today.

I realize I am being a bit vague – but the question isn't what is important here. It is that God's timing is perfect and that sometimes we need to wait. We don't always get the answer we want and I don't know about you – I'm ok with that. I just want an answer even if the answer is no. Waiting is so difficult and yet it teaches us incredible perseverance.

So, I am sitting back and thanking God for the blessing of answering even a piece of what I have been asking for so long. I am grateful to move forward knowing that it is in God's hands.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11

¹ There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under heaven:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
       a time to tear down and a time to build,

 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
       a time for war and a time for peace

¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time.