Day 40 – I must laugh today because each day that I am on this journey, I get hit from another direction. I'm okay with that because I know that God is in control. I really am NOT this pathetic. If I wasn't aware of the journey that I am on, I don't think I would understand what is happening to me. I suppose I should stop and explain.
Since starting this journey, I have had either migraines, personal issues or a nasty virus that has held on for 3 weeks now. I have been to the doctor more times in the last three weeks than I have in the last two years. I have been put on medications that then raised my blood pressure and now need medication to bring that down. So where is the comedy? I'm getting there!
Today, I knew I probably needed to get on some medication for my blood pressure from all of the other items and I called my doctor's office. I talked to the nurse and explained the situation and told her that I would really rather not go in. About 30 minutes later, she called back and said that doctor needed to see me due to the nature of what kind of medication she needed to give me. (Now – get on your nastiest and most sarcastic voice and say this to yourself who has sudden high blood pressure) "She is awfully booked, can't this wait until Monday?!" What??!!! My blood pressure is already elevated and you want me to wait not knowing if there is a serious issue or not? I told her as calmly as I could that I felt like it shouldn't wait. She let out a huge and heavy sigh and said, "Ok…I guess I can fit you in today – be here in an hour!" (Click – the phone hung up). Perhaps she wasn't getting the severity of the issue or maybe I wasn't conveying it well. I did my best to keep calm and pull myself back together.
My friend took me to the doctor (remember, you need an advocate) and we did a routine ekg among other things. I got scheduled for a stress test and was prescribed some medication in the meantime. I was feeling frustrated that I needed some medication but at the same time, knew I needed help for awhile even if in the short term. Off we went to fill my prescription. After waiting around for the meds, I go to pay and the one prime medication is missing. What?! No one told me. I went back to the counter and said, "Excuse me, there is supposed to be another one." He proceeded to tell me that insurance had to have pre-approval and they would get back with me when it was approved. I called my doctor's office only to find out that same surly nurse was gone for the day and it would be 3-4 days before she could get anything approved. Looks like Monday it is….lololol.
Normally I would not share ANY of this but I want you to truly see how when you are on a quest for being close to God, Satan WILL hit you. Please do not let that deter you because this has been a glorious expedition and I grow closer to my Father every day. What you need to know to be equipped for your journey is that God is in control and HE will ALWAYS win….he already has. While parts of this are absolutely humiliating because of all that I've been through in the past 40 days, it is God's victory story. Truth is – by myself I really AM this pathetic but with the Holy Spirit, I am a renewed creation. He will show HIS strength in spite of who I am. Clearly I am a very weak being! Nothing will keep me apart from Christ no matter what Satan throws at me. I am not inviting any more but I am grateful that God is walking with me and guiding me through some VERY murky and choppy waters.
Romans 8:38-39"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."-
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